I'm going back on words. I take back my last post.
Dear Gfs, if you're invited, you should know by now that you are the most important people in my life. The ones I can always relate to when I'm having problems or whatsoever. I don't want the whole world to know what's happening in my life especially the people who don't deserve to know. This is also for safety reasons(I trust you babes!) and also because even if we rarely have the time to catch up with each other, it's the only way for you guys to be updated about me. Lastly, I love you babes so much!
Well yesterday or shall I say a few hours ago, I was supposed to be going to work but instead I took MC which cost me $56.50 just for a bloody MC! I was at my last resort! I just can't take it anymore. I hate work so much right now and I've finally decided that I'll take my leave after Christmas. Also because I wasn't feeling that well. Partly because I was nervous and partly because I was just confused, lost and restless. I didn't tell mom that I was on MC and instead I was out with Amir and his parents. Yes, I can't believe it either. Honestly, I miss the attention. It's not that Kid doesn't give me his full attention but I want to have a fun life where we would go through things together. I want to explore places together, someone to bring me where I've not been to, someone who will decide most of the times. Kid doesn't give me that. Well it's not his fault and I did give him a chance to change but it seems that it's just stagnant. I just don't know why. I love him but I think I don't love him like he loves me. I know it' hurtful and I just don't know how to break it to him. I don't want to see tears but there has got to be a start somewhere. But how do I make him understand because he just don't. Whenever I tried to talk him, in the end he will always make me feel guilty. It's hard. His family, it's the total opposite of mine. Yes everyone's different but I just don't feel right whenever I'm around his family. Not that I wana rake up the past but I still can't forget what his parents said about me. I just don't feel like facing them again coz it really hurts me. How do I tell him all that? Seriously, am I such a bad person. Will Karma come back at me? Today, it's our 3rd monthsary and look where we are now. Sighs.
Anyways, after Amir's parents drop me off my place, instead of heading home I went to meet farah and her ex-colleague; Foz to chill. From embarrasing moments to freaky experiences till 12 midnight. Was early for home from "WORK". & I find my dad sitting in the living room watching TV & obviously I reeked of cigarrattes. Dad didn't look please eventhough I tried to strike a conversation. Sighs. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. Finally, the medicines are taking effects on me. I guess I'll go to sleep now. I thank god I'm on off tomorrow! Oh my. Goodnight sayangs.
There, I've let it all out.
Labels: spillit invites
Baby,top.
Dead & gone. || 2:07 AM